Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Hi. Good morning. Yep, this is on and it is working.
[00:00:08] Good to see you, everybody. It's an absolute honor and delight and a privilege every single time I get to preach and I get to bring a word. When Mark asked whether I would be willing to preach a couple weeks ago, I said, are you sure?
[00:00:25] I have a lot to say.
[00:00:27] I have a lot of opinions.
[00:00:30] But my prayer this morning is that Christ be magnified. I pray that I decrease and I pray that he increase. I pray that he uses me as a vessel to bless his people. I pray that the words that I say, I pray that you hear his voice, and I pray that the words move from your head to your heart. In Jesus name, amen. Suze, I can't get this to work, so I'm just going to go without it and it'll be fine. Yeah. Okay. I just got back from Barbados. I got back on Wednesday. You are very welcome for the sun. I brought it with me. You are very, very welcome. And when I was in Barbados, I happened to be able to catch some t 20 cricket. Do we have any cricket fans in here? Couple. Couple. I often get that response. I often get that response because when I talk about cricket in the UK, people tell me it's really boring and they don't like it. And I think, what cricket are you watching? Cricket in the Caribbean is lively. There is music, there is singing, there's a slide, there is dancing, there is a full brass section in the stands. When we are watching cricket, every time a four or a six is hitting, fireworks go off and people get up and dance and sing. Like cricket in the Caribbean is a vibe. So because I'm from a different culture, I learned that when I say cricket, you think of something, and I think of something completely different. I think of a good time, I think of food, I think of friends, I think of dancing. And if the cricket happens to be good, that's just like icing on the cake. But the atmosphere of the steps and the dancing and the singing makes cricket so lively to us. In the Caribbean, there's another word that I'm going to say, and some of you who know me well are going to be annoyed. And I ask for grace when I say the word beach. Yeah. This is what I see. This is what I think about. Yeah.
[00:02:43] I grew up less than a mile away from this beach. That's where I grew up. So when I think of the word beach, I think of clear waters, white, pink sands, warm temperatures.
[00:03:02] That is what I think about. When I think about the word beach and so then when you say, let's go to the beach, and it is a gorgeous seaside, exmouth is a stunning seaside, but in my brain, this is a beach. So it's the same word, but we are thinking of two different things. I remember being eight years old and coming to England for the first time and my family knew that I loved the beach, and so they said, we'll take you to Brighton beach because you love the beach.
[00:03:40] And in my brain, this was what I was expecting. And so I got to Brighton beach and my eight year old face, because I was always raised to be really polite, was. I was like, what?
[00:03:56] What is this? This is not the idea of a beach that I have.
[00:04:03] I often wonder when we speak, and so do people understand, even though we're saying the same words, do people have the same understanding of what it is that we're saying?
[00:04:18] So I am from Barbados. As Hannah said, I've been in the UK in some capacity since 2010.
[00:04:26] I was going to be really brave and ask people who knew me when they think about me and when they think about Barbadians, what do they think about? But there are some very mischievous people in our congregation this morning, two of them, three of them are sitting on the front row, so I'm not going to do that yesterday. You are one of them and you.
[00:04:45] So I'm not gonna do that.
[00:04:47] Beautiful and good.
[00:04:50] Thank you, Nita.
[00:04:52] I think when people think of caribbean people or bajan people, they think of people who are maybe friendly and passionate and enthusiastic. We love to eat, we love to host people. We are massive feeders. So when I have some of my friends over for a meal, they often take home food with them for the week. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I think of. And we are a bit of beach snobs. We can be, but you see the picture, it's still there. And what I love about when I have friends that have the opportunity to go to Barbados, they get to see me in the culture in which I was born. They say, we have such a better sense of you because things that we thought were uniquely isan, we realize this is bajan culture. People are friendly and warm and inviting and they love to eat and they love to lime, which is you go out by a friend, you hang out without any agenda, and you come when you want and you leave when you want.
[00:05:53] And I also have the joy of some of my barbadian friends coming here and my friends saying the same thing. You guys are so similar. You are chatty and enthusiastic and lively and you recognize that you are a product of the environment that you spend the most time in. And there was a Harvard study that just said that and I thought you didn't have to waste all that money. That was really obvious. You are a product of the time, of the. If you spend time with people in their environment, you become like them, you look like them.
[00:06:24] And what I've also started to love even more is my british friends picking up barbadian mannerisms. And so I've just come back and I've had to bring certain for the vumboras because there are certain things that they love about Barbados. And my friends and my family in Barbados have adopted them as their own because that's what the culture does.
[00:06:44] I've also lived here for about 14 years and so there's some things that I've started to adopt because I've lived here for about 14 years. So I happily go for a walk after I have a meal. That's not what we do in the Caribbean. We eat and we. Then we sleep. Yes, yes. Not anymore. I'm like, oh, we can go for a. I'm happy to go for a walk.
[00:07:11] I now apologize a lot more and I say sorry a lot more. And I apologize to things, inanimate objects when I walk into them. I do that a lot more.
[00:07:23] I have gone to a barbecue in the rain.
[00:07:27] I have barbecued under an umbrella. We do not do that in the Caribbean. Yeah. We have what we call low frustration tolerance for the rain. If the rain is falling, that is a legitimate reason to cancel all plants. When I taught, children would not come to school because the rain was falling. And so here I am in a culture that if I adopted that attitude, I would go nowhere very often because it rained. I happily stay in a queue, except when I am driving and the left lane, there is a queue and the right lane is empty. I am not cutting you up. There is space in the right lane for me to overtake all of you who like to stay in a queue in your car.
[00:08:24] I talk about the weather a lot. I say words like. I say words like mate and boot and petrol, to which my family in Barbados absolutely rinse me for. And I know there will be controversy, but I have the mic. It is cream first, then jam on a scone.
[00:08:47] Yeah.
[00:08:49] There are some things that I have not accepted, though. If someone gives me a compliment, I say, thank you.
[00:08:57] I found when I moved here and I would give somebody a compliment, I'd be like, oh, that's a lovely dress. They would go, oh, it's cheap, or I got it in the sale, or they would point out all the flaws in their dress. And I thought, what are you doing that I have not adopted and I will not adopt. And so I recognize, because I've lived here for so long, there is a third culture that I'm developing. There is my barbadian culture, and there is this british influence, and I'm kind of shaping and being morphed by the experiences that I have and the environment I live in.
[00:09:33] And then I think, well, when I said cricket, you had a different thinking of the word. And when I said beach, you had a different thinking of the word. When I say christ to people, what image do they have of Christ? What does it mean to be Christ cultured? How do people know that we are of Christ, that we represent him, that he is in us, that we love him, that we love people?
[00:10:06] Do people have the same view of Christ and his love that we do when we speak about him? And when we start to talk to them about how this Christ can change their life, what do people see of us that lets them know that Christ is in us? How do they know that we are of Christ? How do we reflect Christ well? How is he magnified in our lives? Because we are not of this world. So I wonder, when we say we are Christ culture and we are of Christ and we are Christians, what does that evoke in people? Is it the same sense of joy and safety and love that we know, or is it something absolutely different?
[00:10:46] A couple weeks ago, Mark was preaching about how our words and what we see should absolutely magnify and reflect the Christ that we are. And so there's some Bible verses that I think give us an indication of what it is like to be Christ cultured. So if you have an actual bible, you can open it up or you can flip, or you can turn it on and flick to the verse. So we're going to look at Galatians five.
[00:11:16] Thank you. 13 to 14, it says, for you were called to freedom.
[00:11:23] Brothers and sisters only. Do not use your freedom as an opportunity to indulge your flesh, but through love, serve one another.
[00:11:35] For the whole law can be summed up in a single commandment, namely, you must love your neighbor as yourself. So when I think about this, what pops out to me is serving one another and loving your neighbor as yourself. I believe, first, in your home, you serve those. In your home, you serve those in your immediate circle. You love yourself and you love others.
[00:12:01] And I think there are so many ways that people know how to serve each other and how to love each other. I'm going to give you an example I didn't plan on giving you because it happened to me this morning.
[00:12:11] How people have served and loved me this morning is that a couple people knew that I was preaching. And so they said, how are you feeling? And those people, I said, oh, I'm actually not feeling 100%, and I'm feeling very excited and very nervous. And they said, let me pray with you immediately. That was the response, let me pray with you. And this happened four or five times that by the fourth time, someone said, how are you doing? I was like, I'm fine. It wasn't a lie, Sean. By the time I got to you, I was actually fine because three people had already stopped me and said, oh, can I pray with you? Or God has something for me to say to you. And I thought, you need to stop speaking these words into me right now. I need to preach in a second, and I'm going to be crying. So the Christ culture that I experienced in this church this morning was about people knowing me and seeing what I needed and coming to pray and saying, can I do anything? And that I experienced such love and service this morning. And so I really want to say thank you.
[00:13:17] And I think you have to know people well to know how to serve them well, because I can decide, I'm going to serve Nita, and I'm going to message her every day, and I'm going to drop by every moment and checking her out every five minutes and send her lots of stuff. And that might not be what Nita needs in this moment at all. And I think it's really helpful to know how people want to receive service and how people want to receive love if we are planning to serve and love them. I think people know a lot about the love languages. And it's really interesting because in my family, both my mother and Hannah are gift givers. They serve and they show love. Yes, they. They do things and they pray for you and they stand with you in tricky situations. And they love to give gifts. They are absolute gift givers. And whenever I have done that test, gifts has been zero for me. It's been not. I do not even rank on it as something that I think as this is how I receive or I show love. And so my mom can get really frustrated with me and my dad because my dad and I are really similar. She will buy us gifts and they will stay in the place that she's given them to us for months.
[00:14:33] And she is absolutely fuming. Because she spent a lot of time thinking about this gift, and she's got it for us, and it's there on the table where we opened it. Because in her brain, in her mind, I want to serve you, and this is how I'm going to serve you. And my dad and I are like, if you make us a meal and you spend time, we are happy. And so there's a balance that we absolutely have to have. So I need to know that I give my mom and Hannah gifts, and they know to give me words and time.
[00:15:12] In verse 22, speaks about the fruits of the spirit.
[00:15:19] They speak about love, joy. We just sang about having joy in chaos. We just sang about having joy and chaos. We thinking about peace. And peace not being the absence of challenge, but being the presence of God. Patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.
[00:15:42] And I think if I ponder on some of these words, I think if you ponder on some of these words, you can see that you reflect them in your life. You represent Christ well in some of these words. And if I'm being really honest, there are some of them that I need to develop a bit more.
[00:16:01] Patience is mine.
[00:16:03] Patience is the one that again and again, I think I haven't gotten this right. God, I know that you love me. I know that you have good things for me.
[00:16:16] Waiting for some of them is. Waiting for some of them with a good attitude is really, really difficult.
[00:16:25] And so I can reflect on my life and the things that I think, okay, God, I can bring this to you. I think I have joy, and I think I have kindness. And I think you have given me the ability to be compassionate with people. And there are some things on this list that I think I really need your help in developing them more in my life. So that when people see me, they see you. They also see patience, they see kindness, they see compassion.
[00:16:52] Something else that's another cultural practice that we, that is experienced both by british and Beijing people is that we love to welcome people into our homes. As I've moved here, I have been welcomed into so many homes so many times. It's a cultural practice that we both share. And what we always do when we invite someone into our home is that we tidy. We tidy a lot. The place they're going to be. We tidy downstairs in the living and the kitchen and the dining areas and the loo. And then when you come over, we say, oh, excuse the mess, as if we haven't been cleaning for 2 hours. Yeah. So we expect people to stay downstairs. We don't expect people to roam the upstairs, private parts of our homes. Is that fair? You stay in the tidy places. You don't look upstairs, where I've crammed all of that crap into that one room that I don't think anybody's gonna see.
[00:17:51] And I think in our lives, I think in my life, let me talk about what in my life I can welcome God and Jesus into those areas that I think I have tidied and I've prepared for him and that are pleasing to him and that reflect him well.
[00:18:07] And the area upstairs that's a mess.
[00:18:11] I think I'll sort it out and then, jesus, I'll let you in because I'm not ashamed of it. And I think that is so anti being Christ cultured. He is saying, I want to go in that space upstairs. I'm not expecting you to sort your life out your own. That's what we do together. But we have a message or a thought that I need to sort all of my life out. I need to get my attitude right before I can let you in to this area of my life that I'm ashamed of.
[00:18:47] And when I think of my friends who come over, Hannah and Emily will go upstairs and I'll say, oh, it's a bit of a mess. And they'll be like, what are you talking about? It's not even that messy. You think it's super messy. And they're like, it's not even. It's not even messy. I don't know what you're thinking about. And sometimes I think Christ is saying to me, it's not that messy. And if you let me help you tidy it, it's going to take much, it's going to be quicker, and it's not going to be as effortful as you think it is. Let me help you. Let me into those areas of your life that you think are too dark for anybody else to see, and you hide away and you pack it away into a corner. Let me in. That's what I want to do. I want to bring light and I want to bring truth, and I want to bring healing, and I want to bring joy and I want to bring peace. And not in a way that condemns you, but in a way that convicts you. And I pray that in the days and the weeks ahead, people will let Christ into all of their lives. Not just the areas that you think are neat and tidy, but every single space.
[00:19:55] I think.
[00:20:01] I think that we spent a lot of time sometimes trying to present that everything is okay. And I think lots of times we try to hide away the truth of the things that we are finding difficult. So, if I'm being really honest, patience, for me, is the one thing on this list that I wish I could respond better. I wish I could be less impatient. I wish I could think before I speak. Because sometimes when I say things as you are hearing it, I am hearing it for the first time as well. It is out of my mouth and we are all hearing it together. And sometimes I'm not quite ready to say it or I shouldn't have said it in this way.
[00:20:45] And I know, because I think, as Hannah said, most of you know, I'm a psychologist, and we spend a lot of time trying to think about how we can support people to think differently, particularly when their thoughts are overwhelming for them.
[00:20:59] And so if I think I can spend time thinking, okay, God, how can I be more patient? What can I do? And I can absolutely spend time ruminating over something that I absolutely got wrong.
[00:21:11] So let's do a bit of an experiment. If I tell you to think about a pink elephant, everybody have an idea of a pink elephant, most of you can think about a pink elephant. Yeah. If I tell you to stop thinking about a pink elephant, most of you are still thinking about the pink elephant. And some of you will come to me at the end of church and you will tell me that you are still thinking about the pink elephant. So we know when you try to stop a thought with only your effort, it gets bigger and it gets louder and the pink elephant gets bigger and bigger. So what we recognize as humans is that we can't really take thoughts out, but we can absolutely put thoughts in. So if I tell you, well, to think of a beach, you had an image earlier to help you.
[00:22:06] If I tell you to think about a seaside, if I tell you to think about a stage, if I tell you to think about a walk or a path, suddenly that pink elephant is much smaller because the other thoughts are now filled, have now filled your brain. And I think, with me, that's how God works, or that's how God works with all of us. Rather than me focusing on the bit that I feel that I'm waiting on, maybe in a really grumpy way, he reminds me of his goodness. So rather than I'm focused on this thing, or the fact that I'm not being patient, or I've been really grumpy, or I really wish I didn't answer that person in that way, or I really wish that I find time to spend really good quality time with him, he reminds me, of his goodness, of all the times that he has come through, of every single plan and purpose that he has for my life, of every single time he's come through in my life. And my life is then filled with the goodness of God, his faithfulness, his truth, his love, his joy and his peace. And suddenly that thing that I've been focused on gets smaller and smaller and smaller.
[00:23:30] When you pray, if you can go back to the list of the fruits of the spirit, is that okay? When you pray for patience, you are provided with opportunities to wait.
[00:23:44] That is what happens.
[00:23:47] When you pray for kindness and you want to be more like Christ and you want to represent him and be kind. God gives you opportunities to be kind to others when sometimes that is the last thing or it's not the automatic thing that you want to do.
[00:24:04] When you pray for faithfulness, God gives you opportunities to extend your faith. Praying for faith without having a situation or a challenging situation where you need to extend your faith doesn't happen. You get faith by being faithful in challenging situations.
[00:24:27] That is how it grows. I think what I wanted was a shortcut. I wanted to pray for patients, and patients would just come without any effort. But that's not Christ's culture. That's not what he's like. That's not his characteristics. Praying for faith praying for patience without having a situation with which you excite is like going to the gym and watching somebody else lift weights and wondering why you're not getting any stronger or getting any muscles. It is an absolute doing word.
[00:25:01] So if I. I'm not sure if you've had a chance to think about this list and think about areas in your life where you think, I really want to reflect you more. God, there are things in my life that I think I'm doing really well. I think that please and honor you. But they're also areas in my life that I need to develop more. And I invite you into them. And I pray that you show me how to cultivate a life that honors you and that shows people Christ as love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.
[00:25:37] Deuteronomy ten. Do you have that verse as well?
[00:25:42] Also speaks about how God defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, how he loves the foreigner residing among you, giving them food and clothing. And Isaiah 117 says, learn to do good, seek justice, correct oppression, bring justice to the fatherless, and plead the cause of the widow. And I think, is this the christ I pray? This is the christ that people see more and more when we speak to them about being Christ cultured. And when we speak to them about the Christ that we love, I pray that this is the Christ that they see, I say, this is our Christ. This is who he is, this is what he's about. And if you are hearing messages that sound like they set themselves up against what these scriptures say, I pray that you have the grace and the bravery to challenge those messages, because this is what Christ's culture is.
[00:26:43] We love the foreigner residing among us. That's what deuteronomy ten says.
[00:26:49] We seek justice, we correct oppression. We bring justice.
[00:26:54] So when people are talking about Christ, I pray this is what they see.
[00:26:59] There's another cultural habit that we have in Barbados. It's at Easter time. We fly kites. Yeah. So Easter, Good Friday, we do not go to the beach on Good Friday. We do not eat red meat on Good Friday, and we fly lots of kites. And I wasn't there for Good Friday. I wasn't there for Easter this year. And so I said to my dad, I really want to fly a kite when I come home, because I knew I was going to be home in June. And my dad is the sort of dad that he indulges 97.9% of the things that I would like to do. If I ask him to do something, he absolutely does it.
[00:27:41] He will be up early on mornings if I'm traveling to make sure that there are no accidents on the way. Even though I've been living here independently for, like, 14 years, he still gets up. He follows my car all the way to Heathrow. He follows my flight. That's the sort of dad that I have. And so he got the kite and we decided we were going to go kite flying on Father's Day. Now, I'm not sure if any of you here fly a kite, but it's really easy to fly a kite by the beach in Barbados because there's constant wind. The wind is constant. There is a constant stream. You can literally hold the kite, release it, and it flies because there is this constant source of wind.
[00:28:24] We decided to fly a kite on top of a cliff so we could the beach very far away, and there was a cliff, and then we were on top of the cliff. But because we were on top of the cliff, there were, like, gusts of wind that would come and they would stop.
[00:28:45] And so I think people say half the fun of flying a kite is getting up in the air. I'm not so sure because I was exhausted and it was hot. And there was a time when my dad said to let the kite go. And I didn't hear him. So I was running, holding the kite that I should have let go. I should have upped, as we say, in Barbados. And we were both getting quite frustrated because to fly a kite and to fly a kite, well, you have to be patient and wait for the wind. And so you have to plan it and you have to time it really well.
[00:29:19] And so finally, my dad, my brother and my sister, we got this kite up and it flew for about five minutes, but not very well. It was kind of dipping, and then it crashed. And then we got the kite up again, and then it went over a shed. So I had to go and get the kite, and then I had to untie the kite and then bring it back. And then my dad was really frustrated that none of his children knew how to tie the kite back together.
[00:29:47] And it was taking perseverance and time, and it was really, really hot. And I was saying to him, if we were at the beach, this kite would have been up in the air ten minutes ago. We would have been sitting watching it.
[00:30:07] But we are fighting with this kite on top of this cliff, and I'm ready to give up. And as I was talking to my parents about it last night, we were speaking about being well positioned in a place where you are connected consistently to the source of good win. And I suddenly started to think about, in my life, have there been times where, because I was not positioned well, it was difficult for me to reflect Christ the way that I know he had for me. And I started to think about, how do I position myself to be in a place where the goodness and the favor of God is in my life, but I can reflect him well in my day to day life, in my work, with my friends, how I can be patient with myself and with people around me. And I thought about, how can I shift where I am so I'm constantly connected to him?
[00:31:10] And so I really started to think about, how do I stay Christ cultured? What do I do that helps me to remember the goodness of who God is? Every single plan and purpose he's spoken over my life, every single promise he's given me. How do I keep him in mind? What do I do to keep Christ in mind? We have a running joke in my family, my family and I. Most Saturdays we have a family chat where all of us get on Google Meets and we talk and we chat and we speak with each other.
[00:31:43] And most sahadays my mother will go, is that my shirt you're wearing? And I go, or is that my bag you have. And then I turn the camera off because then she sees every single thing that I've collected of hers that I now have 4000 miles away. And in my family we jokingly. I've jokingly called them transitional objects because as a psychologist, when I work with children who struggle to separate from their parents, we speak about giving them a transitional object so that they remember their parents. They keep their parents in mind and so they know that their parents are often thinking of them. So I say, no, mom, I haven't stolen this. This is how I'm going to keep you in mind. This is your shirt. And when I wear it, I think about you and I don't miss you as much. And it's not only my mom I do it with. I have some of Hannah's stuff and she's like, is that my top? Like, yes, it is your top. I haven't stolen it. It's a transitional object. I'm keeping you in mind so I don't miss you so much.
[00:32:52] And when I think about. There's so many other faith communities who have transitional objects that help them to keep God in mind. Some people wear crosses on them, some Catholics, some of them have rosaries, some religions. Their entire dress reminds them of their faith and that they are moving through this. They are not of this world. They are differently or otherly cultured.
[00:33:18] My mom gave me this ring. I didn't take it, mom. It's actually something you've given me. It's not a transitional object and it's three rings in one. Yeah. And it reminds me, as I fiddle with it and it helps me to focus, to be mindful of my words.
[00:33:40] It helps me to remember, to think before I speak.
[00:33:45] It helps me to remember as I fiddle with it, the goodness of God as I wait and I expect his continued goodness. So this is my little transitional object because I am working on developing my patience and so it's helpful to have a little reminder with you. And this is my reminder.
[00:34:08] So as. As I come to a close and we pray.
[00:34:15] I pray, I pray God.
[00:34:20] My prayer is that whatever people are feeling in their minds and in their hearts right now, whatever way they want and they feel they would like to reflect you and represent you more, however they want to reflect Jesus more in their lives and their homes and in their hearts, I pray that they will be reminded of how much you absolutely love them.
[00:34:49] I pray they be reminded of the goodness of who you are. I pray they be reminded of the love and the peace and the joy and the healing that you bring. Father.
[00:35:02] Father God, I pray in the days and the weeks ahead. They remind. They be reminded that they are not of this world. They represent a different kingdom. They represent you. They represent your light and your truth and your justice.
[00:35:18] They represent your joy and your faithfulness.
[00:35:23] My prayer is that they feel such a blessing and a peace and a likeness that comes with being Christ cultured. I pray it does not overwhelm them. And I pray in the days and the weeks ahead that you continue to be magnified in their lives. In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.
[00:35:46] Amen.
