Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Welcome. My name is Amy. As Mike said, I'm married to him and part of the team here. So if you're watching online, which I know a number are this morning and my parents. Hello. Are watching too, so a very warm welcome indeed.
[00:00:18] So we've been here about 18 months now and one thing we have learnt is that January and February are really hard.
[00:00:29] The dark, the rain.
[00:00:32] Oh, my word, will it stop raining? Yes, it will.
[00:00:36] The gray skies, the lack of sunlight, like it's. It really takes a toll. And as Mike said, one of our kids came home from school and said, mum, did you know it's Blue Monday? Like, we're having a Beat the Blues week at school. And I was like, I did not know this, this is news to me.
[00:00:53] And I thought, what a great decision you have made to come to church. Like, what a great way to beat the blues. And then our younger Zoe tells me, mum, you are dressed in blue.
[00:01:06] She always makes me smile. Thank you, Zoe. But I love blue.
[00:01:11] Yeah, I know. So just a little chuckle there, but there's some lovely bright people dressed this morning. It's amazing.
[00:01:19] So, back in New Zealand, we had a series in our church called you'd Ask for was a series where people could ask honest question and we spoke on those topics. Well, we had a lot of questions around mental health. What does God think about mental wellness? Should Christians take medication?
[00:01:38] How do I overcome anxiety and depression?
[00:01:42] Can I actually improve my mental wellness because of the journey I'm about to share this morning they asked me to speak God bless.
[00:01:52] But it has become a message that I have shared very widely in New Zealand and I want to speak this morning into that space and I've entitled this message Strength from the Inside Out. How to build a hopeful, courageous and strong soul.
[00:02:10] So let me just say from the outset, I am not a mental health expert. I'm not a gp, psychiatrist, psychologist or counsellor. We have wonderful people and in those professions in our church, yay. I'm so grateful for them, but I am. Well, I'm just Amy, I'm a credentialed ELIM minister and I've served alongside Mike in ministry for years.
[00:02:35] And I think this is my story and I think every mental health journey is different. It's so important not to compare.
[00:02:43] It doesn't help anyone. But the truths that I believe or I will share this morning, I hope will be really helpful to us all to be brave enough to. To invite God into this space.
[00:02:55] And so, you know, I stand here this morning, like, truly by God's Grace that in the middle of my mess, he was writing this message.
[00:03:08] So.
[00:03:10] Okay, I want to say this morning clearly that there is hope for your mental health. There is hope for your mental health. And the church of Jesus Christ is the hope of the world. I believe that with all my heart. And so the passage I'm gonna read from this morning is from Psalm 27. It's gonna be on the screen behind me. I'm reading from the amplified classic version because I like words and I like the way it puts it. And it says, what would have become of me had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living.
[00:03:48] Wait, hope for and expect the Lord. Be brave and of good courage.
[00:03:54] Let your heart be stout and enduring.
[00:03:58] Yes, wait for hope for and expect the Lord.
[00:04:04] Would you pray with me this morning, Father? God, I just thank you for your beautiful presence in this place. I thank you for these moments we get to spend in your Word. And I pray that as your word goes forth, Lord, that would produce fruit and it would accomplish what you desire. It would achieve the purpose that you have for it. In Jesus name.
[00:04:26] In Jesus name. Well, near the end of 2014, I went through a really hard time, a very stressful time. I was pregnant with our youngest child, and my world, as I knew it, was about to change.
[00:04:45] Not unlike our move here 10 years later.
[00:04:50] Mike was away, and I remember it was a November morning and I had a panic attack for the first time.
[00:04:57] A sleepless night, which spiraled into insomnia, anxiety, and ultimately into antenatal depression.
[00:05:06] And over the rest of my pregnancy, sleep became near impossible. And so numerous visits to the gp, to my midwife, I was on sleeping tablets. I took every natural remedy possible.
[00:05:20] I went to my doctor and he said to me, I think you need to go on antidepressants, Amy.
[00:05:29] And that moment, I really crushed me. Like, I just felt the weight of stigma and the weight of shame.
[00:05:40] Shame that my faith didn't seem enough to fix this, shame that this medication might harm my unborn baby, and shame that I was a pastor.
[00:05:51] And pastors don't get depressed, do they?
[00:05:56] A close friend of mine is a GP in New Zealand, and she gave me a lot of statistics, but the one that jumped out at me was that she told me that 40% of adults in their lifetime will experience mental unwellness. And I imagine the UK stats are quite similar and we have survived Covid as well.
[00:06:19] So I want to talk this morning about my story, because they're not just numbers. Like they're people, they're real people, myself included. And if it's not you, it's probably someone close to you. So I want to talk about cosmetic fixes versus deep work.
[00:06:37] So I have my handbag this morning. Would there be any ladies that. Oh gosh, I'm going to spill this water.
[00:06:44] Thank you, honey. That would go anywhere without their handbag.
[00:06:48] Life is not a good day if I've forgotten my handbag. Like in here is my lipstick to help me look bold when I don't feel it. I've got tissues.
[00:06:59] Perimenopause is real, people.
[00:07:02] I've got. What else have I got in here? Oh yes, my sunnies from Spain to remind me that the sun will shine again.
[00:07:11] Yes. Oh, and let me just tell you, from Today, it's only 34 days until spring. We can do it, people. We can.
[00:07:20] In here. I've got my wipes. Like our children are quite a lot more grown up. But honestly, this is the most brilliant things.
[00:07:27] Take them with me. You never know. You never know. And of course I've got my phone.
[00:07:32] Where would I be? I have actually had a lot more things in here, but I did a clear out because you never really know what is in a woman's handbag.
[00:07:42] It's true. But I realized I love renovation shows, you know, home improvement shows. Really though, I love the end result. I love the paint, I love the cushions, the carpets, the curtains. I like the end result. But we know that the end result doesn't happen without the structural work being done first.
[00:08:08] And so a house that is not structurally sound will not last. And it's true of us too. And actually we've had some prophetic words and pictures as a church that we're in a building site, God help us.
[00:08:23] But it's so exciting. And Mark shared last week the way God is leading the elders and the session into this new season, our new building, it's gonna be amazing.
[00:08:35] There's a saying over here that's quite new to me and I remember someone saying it to me at the school gate. Are you all right? You all right?
[00:08:43] And I was like, I was like, in my mind I'm going, yeah, I'm fine, how are you?
[00:08:49] But actually it was a new saying and even in church we like to say that, are you alright? And we like to slap on cosmetically and say, yeah, I'm fine, how are you?
[00:09:01] So truth be told, you might actually be dying inside.
[00:09:04] So this morning I'm going to get honest and I encourage this is a safe place you can do the same. So to find wholeness again, I realized that I needed a different set of tools. Mike, do you want to take my handbag? So I'm going to ditch my handbag. Phone, wipes. Yeah, that can all go. So I'm ditching my handbag and I'm picking up my tool bag. Now, there's a very cool story about this tool bag. It has traveled from New Zealand, so halfway across the world.
[00:09:33] I don't even know why I packed it, because honestly, have I used much in here?
[00:09:39] The tape measures come in handy. But I'm ditching the handbag and I'm picking up my tool bag this morning.
[00:09:48] And if you want proof, you know that mental. If mental health struggles are in the Bible, like, look no further than David, shepherd boy, musician, warrior, the greatest king Israel had ever had.
[00:10:02] But emotionally, David was all over the place.
[00:10:07] Scholars actually believe it was David who said in Psalm 42 and 43, why my soul are you so downcast?
[00:10:14] Why my soul are you so disturbed within me? I'm like. That sounds like someone struggling internally.
[00:10:21] Psalm 27, he says, where would I be had I not believed that I would see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living? And I'm like, David, what land were you living in? Clearly a dark place.
[00:10:33] So I've discovered from the psalm three tools that belong in every believer's tool bag. And I want to share with you them this morning because we need God's word. We need his help.
[00:10:47] So my first thought this morning is that we need to build our hope. Verse 14 says, Wait and hope and expect the Lord. You know, hope is not just wishful thinking, not just saying, oh, well, I hope you have a lovely holiday. I hope the sun we know will shine again.
[00:11:08] Actually, biblical hope is something deeper. Biblical hope is a patient. It's a confident. It's a joyful expectation of good.
[00:11:19] You know, long journeys, whether it be mental health, struggles, infertility, we've shared our journey. We took years to have our children. Maybe it's loss.
[00:11:30] Long journeys can deplete our hope.
[00:11:33] And the Bible says that hope deferred makes the heart sick.
[00:11:37] But do you know something? That hope that remains after suffering, that is true hope indeed. That is true hope indeed.
[00:11:47] You know, in my darkest depression, God felt really distant.
[00:11:51] And years later, when depression returned again, as we were prepared to move here, you know what? Hope began to become so central to me.
[00:12:02] I'm like, I've journeyed this before. I know, I know that. I know we're Supposed to be here.
[00:12:07] So, Lord, I'm gonna go back to the promises that you gave me. Psalm 41 is probably my favorite. It says, I drew you to myself from the ends of the earth, and I called you from its farthest corner. I say to you, you are my servant. I've chosen you. I have not rejected you. Do not yield to fear, for I am always with you.
[00:12:26] Never turn your gaze from me, for I am your faithful God. I will infuse you with strength, and I'll help you in every situation.
[00:12:36] You know, when I got sick over 10 years ago, at the time Mike and I were supposed to come to the uk, Mike was on the national leadership team, and we were supposed to come and represent Elim New Zealand over here. But when I got sick, Mike resigned from that position to focus on our local church and for me.
[00:12:59] And I'm so grateful we put that trip on hold.
[00:13:03] We trusted God. Who knew. Who knew we would be here 10 years later.
[00:13:11] We serve a God, you know, who can make a way where there appears to be no way. He is a God that can turn situations around. And I've seen it because he did it for me when we've had our youngest child. And I knew in my heart he could do it again.
[00:13:27] And I'm so grateful. And I just want to say he can do it in your Life, too.
[00:13:32] Hebrews 6:19 says, we have this hope as an anchor for our soul, firm and secure. The hope of Jesus anchors us and keeps us secure. So I want to say, put your hope in God and maybe say again, put your hope in God again.
[00:13:51] So my second thought this morning is that we need to build our courage.
[00:13:55] Verse 14 says, Be of good courage, be brave. You know, being brave is a decision, not a feeling.
[00:14:04] There was a season when Mike had to make decisions for me. I couldn't even reply to messages.
[00:14:09] He very much protected my capacity.
[00:14:12] But actually, one of the bravest things I did was ask for help.
[00:14:18] Shame and stigma around mental health, I believe are the greatest barriers to healing.
[00:14:26] And I can still remember giving birth to Zoe. And a pediatric specialist came and visited us in the hospital because Zoe was shaking and we didn't know why.
[00:14:38] And she came to visit Mike and I, and she said, zoe's shaking. She's having a reaction to the medication that you've been on. And she said, you have done the right thing. You have put your mental health first so that you could take care of your family.
[00:14:54] And she said, zoe is going to be fine.
[00:14:57] And she is fine.
[00:15:00] She is fine.
[00:15:05] And she said to me, you do not need to be ashamed.
[00:15:08] And I just like that moment with the specialist really has stayed with me. And I guess I was like, in that moment, I wasn't Pastor Amy. I was just Amy struggling with antenatal depression.
[00:15:22] And I think in church people like to put pastors on pedestals.
[00:15:27] If you know me well, I'm all about climbing off the pedestal. So please don't do that, because we are just as human as you are.
[00:15:35] We need the grace of God. We need his help, just like you do.
[00:15:41] But it changed me, you know, and I'm still on a journey. When we moved over here, I found a good doctor and I was prescribed medication and I'm still on medication.
[00:15:53] I just really felt I needed to say that today.
[00:15:56] You know what?
[00:15:58] Our weakness is made perfect. And the one who is perfect, and that is Jesus.
[00:16:03] And so I boast in my weakness so that the power of Christ may shine through me.
[00:16:18] James 4. 6 says, God opposes the proud.
[00:16:22] He opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble.
[00:16:27] And I had taken great courage from a Pastor Rick Warren.
[00:16:31] He is a pastor and an author from the United States. And he sadly lost his 27 year old son, struggled with mental illness most of his life. And he says these words, if you struggle with a broken brain, you should be no more ashamed than someone with a broken arm. It is not a sin to take medication. It is not a sin to get help. You do not need to be ashamed.
[00:16:53] So not only do we need to build our hope and build our courage, but my last thought is that we need to build our soul.
[00:16:59] It says in verse 14, Let your heart be stout and enduring. And I'm like, what does that mean, to have a stout heart? It means it is strong, it is robust, it is durable.
[00:17:14] In New Zealand we have a saying. It's not a good saying, but it's this saying, bro, just harden up. Like, just harden up, bro.
[00:17:23] It makes me smile. But actually we don't need to harden up. We actually need to strengthen up. And the new King James version of verse 14 says, Be of good courage and heed he shall strengthen your heart.
[00:17:37] God is the only one who can strengthen our heart.
[00:17:42] Amen. I'm so grateful. But we need to strengthen our heart. We need to guard our heart. Proverbs 4, 23 says, for everything we do flows from it. And guarding my heart has meant that I've put in boundaries. I've learned to say the right yes and the right no, and be okay with it.
[00:18:04] Building my soul has Meant that I've engaged in counselling.
[00:18:08] Both Mike and I see Christian counsellors here in the UK and it is so good for our mental wellness, those regular check ins. Because you know what, it's really easy to lie to each other and it's really easy to lie to ourselves.
[00:18:23] So counseling has brought me so much freedom.
[00:18:28] 3 John 2 is a favorite. It says, beloved, I pray that you may prosper in health, in all things and be in health just as your soul prospers. You know, God has created us body, soul and spirit. God said we can love him with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our strength. Which means that we need to allow God's grace into every area of our lives, physically, emotionally, relationally, mentally and spiritually. And I've got another lovely friend in New Zealand. Her name is Julia Grace and she's a singer, songwriter, she's an author, she is a mental health educator and she has a number of Fs for mental wellness and I want to share a few of them with you this morning. Added my own at the end and she spells as well as I do. She makes me laugh, does Julia. So God bless. But the first one is we need obviously faith. Faith in Jesus Christ is central. It's central to my life and it holds everything together. And if you don't know Jesus, I want to give you an opportunity to do that. You know, prayer has actually been scientifically proven to improve mental wellness. Praise and thankfulness, so, so very important.
[00:19:49] And obviously God's word, as I shared, has anchored me in my darkest nights.
[00:19:56] So faith, family and friendship fellowship, you know, face to face if possible.
[00:20:03] If possible. I know we spend a lot of time online with social media and even as an adult, like I struggle with that.
[00:20:12] So I think yes, we need to include our family and our friends. And there's been some times when I can remember darling husband wanting to fix me and actually all I really wanted him to do was listen.
[00:20:29] So if you are not in a connect group here at Rediscover, you will find them online and maybe this is a little prompt that actually this is the time to get connected.
[00:20:39] So my next thought is fitness and food, yes. Exercise and mental health, I believe, go hand in hand. I've joined the gym late last year. I'm like, yeah, I joined the gym because it's good for me. And there's a trend in social media which is what were you doing 10 years ago and what was I doing in 2016? I was running half marathons with my lovely friend Bex from New Zealand and I got into running and it was so, so very good for me.
[00:21:13] Food is also very important, or should I say the right kind of food.
[00:21:18] I'm probably still working on that one.
[00:21:21] Pharmaceuticals. I told you, my friend Julia spells like I do. Pharmaceuticals. Get a good GP on your side, a good counselor, and if they prescribe medication, take it.
[00:21:33] My next thought, philanthropy.
[00:21:36] Also another F that spells like I do. But you know what? Live a generous life. Like, look outside of yourself. It is greatly been helpful to me to consider the needs of others more important than my own favorite things. We're getting there. One of my favorite movies is the Sound of Music. I absolutely love Julie Andrews. Like, she's fabulous. I love her. And she sings a song to the children that they're looking after. I won't sing it. But you know it. You know the song.
[00:22:09] Favorite things. Rain hooks on roses and whiskers on kittens. That one.
[00:22:14] So find out what your favorite things are. Like, flowers are one of my favorite things.
[00:22:22] But Mike is winning this week because not only did he do the shopping, but he came home with roses.
[00:22:30] Yes.
[00:22:31] So winning.
[00:22:33] So find out what your favorite things are. And my last F is consider maybe getting a furry friend most of the time. But honestly, our furry friend, our new puppy, Kiwi, has just been such a blessing. Like, really is. He's going.
[00:22:51] But I put that aside because Kiwi is such a blessing. Like, truly, like, I can't explain. He is actually an answer to prayer. So what I'm trying to say is it all matters a holistic matters.
[00:23:06] If Drew would like to join me on the keyboards, that'd be great.
[00:23:10] You know, David doesn't just ask. He doesn't just say, why my soul are you downcast? Why my soul are you so disturbed within me? And we just sang his response, Psalm 43. 5. He says, Put your hope in God.
[00:23:26] Put your hope in God. For I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
